Mindful and Gentle Eating Process - How to Interrupt the Pattern of Emotional Eating

If you're a woman struggling with emotional eating, you probably often feel like you have no control around food. Because you've probably used food for so long to medicate your emotions, it's become second nature. You don't have an accurate picture of it anymore. This is why you probably swear that you can't live without M&Ms, your favorite cheesy puffs or Mom's homemade lasagna. But it's not the food that's hitting your happy spots, it's the connection to those memories. Right now you're linking extreme pleasure to eating the food and the consequence of that is that you can't seem to ever get enough. The truth is you can't get enough of it, because it's not what you really want. You're really seeking the opportunity to re-experience the positive memories that come with eating the food. However in order to extract those feel good feelings, you don't have to overeat the food.

The following method is to be used in conjunction with a permission based eating approach to food called Intuitive Eating. If you are dieting or restricting the foods you eat, you will have a much harder time with this exercise. This is because as a dieter, you will always want what you think you can't have. If you believe that you can't or shouldn't eat chocolate, then it will be extremely difficult for you to feel the level of safety intended in this exercise that comes with knowing that you can eat what you want whenever you get hungry.

in order to fully overcome emotional eating, it is essential that you find resourceful ways of dealing with the often uncomfortable emotions that drive you to eat. It is also important to be able to neutralize these emotions and deal with them so that they do not trigger the desire to overeat. For this, I heartily recommend the use of doing whatever you have to do to cope aggressively with the stress in your life. I teach my clients a variety of techniques listed under the umbrella category of energy psychology tools or energy therapy. They function to eliminate painful emotional and physical blockages in the body. One of my favorite processes is based on the science of acupuncture. It's called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT.

I've created the following exercise for my Say Goodbye to Dieting Program. I recommend that you use this Mindful and Gentle Eating Exercise to become more conscious of your eating, slow yourself down and refocus on how the food makes you feel and notice how it feels in your body in the moment and over time.

The intention of the exercise is to begin to reawaken your sense of how to eat more mindfully, in full conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings as you eat. If you're inclined to be a fast eater like me, I know how hard it is for you to consider eating more slowly. Eating fast is a sign of compulsion, that stems from fear of lack. Many non diet weight loss programs only advocate eating slowly as a means of breaking the habit of compulsion that drives the speed eating. I don't agree with that. As a gal who has always eaten very fast, I resented it when anyone told me to eat slowly. The resistance you feel is that little survival part of you that refuses to be made to feel unsafe ever again. I promise I won't ever take anything away from you. My only desire is to add to what you already have.

As a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, I encourage you to learn by giving you the opportunity to enjoy contrast. I believe that choices are essential to being happy and in order to create new habits effortlessly, you have to feel really good about what you choose. You'll notice in this exercise, I'll ask you to eat slowly and then I'll encourage you to eat at your normal pace, whatever that may be and then alternate between the two speeds. That is done so that your brain can reorganize itself and find an intermediate speed that will become a new comfort level for you. To prepare you to do the exercise, please do the following 5 intermediary steps, A-E.

You may choose to eat anything that you want. The choice is up to you. This exercise is done to consciously slow you down. You may find it a challenge at first, later it will become a great joy.

A. Find five emotional food connections in your life that have in the past compelled you to eat when you were not hungry.

B. What has that food meant to you?

C. What memories rise to the surface when you think about it?

D. Go out and get one of those foods or all of them, bring it home or prepare it. (For best results, you'll practice this exercise each time with each of the individual foods you've chosen)

E. Before you are ready to sit down and eat your chosen food, set your place with the appropriate silverware and a napkin (even if you are eating a pint of ice cream, make sure that you have a napkin) You don't have to serve it in a bowl unless you choose to do so. Now you're ready to begin.

Mindful and Gentle Eating Process

1. Bring your journal to the table

2. Have your silverware and optional plate or bowl ready along with your napkin

3. Place the food on the table

4. Sit down facing it

5. Look at it

6. Smell it

7. Be present with your feelings as they surface

8. Notice those feelings

9. Sit for a few moments and write down your observations of the food and your feelings connected to it

10. Close your journal

11. Pause and think for a moment, offering thanks for this food

12. Pick up your utensil

13. Take a small bite or spoonful.

14. Place the food in your mouth and allow it to rest on the tip of your tongue.

15. Swirl it around in your mouth for about 3 to 7 seconds

16. Notice the sensations that come up for you

17. Slowly chew it or allow it to gently glide down your throat.

18. Put down your fork or spoon and resist picking it up for a moment. If you have to sit on your hands, then do it

19. Just sit with those feelings for about 10 -15 seconds

20. Repeat the process from stage 12-19 until you are satisfied. Notice the degree of that satisfaction. Do this at least 3 times during the week. The rest of the times eat at your normal pace. See what you discover.

And to learn more about how to how to make peace with food and friends with your body go to http://www.thejuicywoman.com and learn the strategies I use every day to be curvy and confident at any size

From Andrea Amador - The Juicy Woman

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Teenage Eating Disorders - What Parents Need to Know

Unfortunately, despite there being more resources and information about eating disorders available to teens, teachers and parents, this is still an issue which impacts many American teens. Some children as young as eight have developed eating disorders, however, eating disorders usually develop between the ages of thirteen and seventeen. Eating disorders are characterized by extremes in eating behaviors or when someone is on a diet that just goes on and on.

There is no clear cause for an individual developing an eating disorder, however, there are some Risk Factors which increase one's chances of developing an eating disorder:

1. Adolescence itself is a risk factor because of the significant changes that take place in one's body during this time. In adolescent girls it is very normal to gain body fat during puberty which can result in girls feeling like they do not fit in with what a teenage girl is supposed to look like according to the media.

2. Teens also face a lot of emotional stress related to school pressure, peer pressure and a general sense of feeling very uncertain and out of control with all the changes they are experiencing. Sometimes, these individuals will work to control their food as a result and as a way of helping them feel in control.

3. Another risk factor is an individual going through puberty at a younger than average age. For these individuals, the changes in their bodies can be even scarier because they are not seeing others change in the same way. They may restrict food excessively in an effort to stop their bodies from developing further.

4. Teens who are involved in athletics, dancing, etc. are at increased risk because they are often concerned that the changes in their bodies will impact their overall performance.

5. Teens living in homes where there is abuse, substance abuse or poor communication are at increased risk for developing an eating disorder. Often times these teens will restrict food as a way of feeling more in control or they will turn to food for comfort which may result in binge eating.

6. Teens living in homes where there is excessive pressure to succeed are also at increased risk for developing eating disorders. It is completely acceptable for parents to push their children to work hard and have goals, however, when this push is excessive and extreme, teens can begin to feel out of control and like they are failing which results in their trying to gain some control through food.

The above list is not exhaustive but does outline some of the risk factors which may make a teen more likely to develop an eating disorder. The two most common types of eating disorders called Anorexia Nervosa ("Anorexia") and Bulimia Nervosa ("Bulimia"). Below are some common characteristics of each:

Anorexia Nervosa: is characterized by individuals being obsessed with being thin. Individuals with Anorexia have an extreme fear of gaining weight and a distorted body image. This means that regardless of how thin they are, they still view their body as being too big. Individuals with Anorexia are very noticeably thin. These individuals have behaviors which may include restricting food, fasting, obsessively counting calories, exercising excessively, using diet pills or laxatives or vomiting after eating. Individuals with Anorexia do not eat enough to allow their body to function properly.

Health Risks Associated with Anorexia Nervosa: there are many health risks associated with not feeding the body enough food. These include:

o Lowered blood pressure and pulse

o Brittle hair and nails

o Lightheadedness or fainting

o Swollen joints

o Low temperature

o Loss of hair on the head

o Depression

o Lanugo - the growth of soft furry hair on the face, back and arms

o Slow or stunted growth

o Menstrual periods stop

Bulimia Nervosa: is characterized by individuals binge eating (eating a lot of food even when not hungry) and then purging or engaging in excessive exercise following binge eating. Individuals with Bulimia have a distorted body image and may actually appear to be of a healthy weight or even slightly overweight. Individuals must be binging and purging regularly to be diagnosed with this eating disorder. Often times individuals will eat secretly because they are ashamed of their inability to control how much they are eating.

Health Risks Associated with Bulimia Nervosa: there are many health risks associated with eating excessively and then purging. Some of these include:

o Stomach pain

o Permanent damage to the stomach and kidneys

o Irregular menstrual cycles

o Dehydration

o Swollen face

o Sore Throat

o Dry, flaky skin

o Electrolyte problems

o Low potassium levels

o Heart arrhythmias

o Tooth decay

o If gaining too much weight could develop diabetes or heart disease

Treatment:

Obviously the health risks are great and professional help is necessary if you believe your teen has an eating disorder. Treatment usually involves a combination of a medical doctor, a therapist and a dietitian or nutritionist who work together to address the eating disorder. If a teen has anorexia, the first step will be to work with them to get them back to a healthy weight where they are medically stable and safe. Medically a doctor will check height, weight and may also run an EKG or check the body's chemicals to make sure they are at health levels. The medical doctor will work in conjunction with a nutritionist to discuss healthy eating, vitamin supplements if needed and to make sure healthy eating becomes part of someone's lifestyle. Therapy is an extremely important component in the treatment of eating disorders because there is an emotional component to the issue related to self esteem and body image which needs to be addressed. In addition, there may be a co-occurring mental health issue which can be assessed by a trained therapist. Very often family therapy occurs along with individual therapy which can help family members better understand the issue and ways in which they can help support the treatment process.

The treatment of eating disorders can be a slow process but is critical to both the physical and emotional well being of an individual. If you believe your teenager has an eating disorder you should first seek medical attention as soon as possible. There are many talented therapists who specialize in working with teens and in working with eating disorders who can be located through physicians or by researching them on the internet. You and your teen have a right to "interview" your treatment providers to make sure you find individuals who you feel are a good fit for you which will increase the success of the treatment process.

As a parent, it is important that you also have support for yourself during this time of worry and confusion. You will be working closely with your child's treatment team but should also make sure you have your own support network during this challenging time which may include close friends or family, a therapist, a coach or a group where you can take time to just focus on yourself. Making sure that you stay healthy (both emotionally and physically) is also critical to your child's treatment process.

For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coahing.com

My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.

I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.

In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:

• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting

• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern

• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively

• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens

• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years

Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775

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Learning How to Eat

If someone said to you that you need to learn how to eat, you would probably look at them as if they had lost his or her mind. After all, you were eating before you could walk or talk. This being the case, how is it that someone can make a statement like this.

Well, first of all, it is true that you do have the physical process down, that is you already know how to put the food in your mouth, chew and swallow. But eating is much more than that. Eating is about supplying your body with the proper nutrition in the proper amounts. More precisely, learning how to eat is about learning healthy eating habits.

Present Eating Habits

Your eating habits started their development when you were a child. Regardless if they were healthy or not, whatever you were given as well as how much you were given to eat are the foundation of your present day eating habits. So if you were taught to always clean your plate, regardless of how much was on the plate, you probably ate it all up.

It is eating patterns like this that you are going to have to change in order to develop better and healthy eating habits. More to the point, this is what is meant when you are told that you need to learn how to eat.

Healthy Eating Habits

Even though healthy eating habits can be separated into a number of distinct points, for the most part, they all can be encompassed in just two: types of foods and food portion control.

Types of Foods

First there is the types of foods that you should eat most of the time. I say most of the time, because some of the foods you may most like may not make the cut for being the healthiest for you.

These foods that you should eat most of the time are lean meats, whole grains, and of course vegetables. This combination should be present in most of your meals. Depending on your culture, you may want to go with fruit for breakfast as oppose to vegetables, even though an omelet can include a nice variety of vegetables.

Given the easy access to processed and fried foods, eating in this manner is foreign to most of us. However, to enjoy better health and for many of you, a smaller waistline, you need to internalize this concept of eating into your dining habits.

Food Portion Control

Probably the most important healthy eating habit is food portion control. For many of you growing up, no thought had been given to controlling food portions. You would typically just eat until you were no longer hungry. Bad idea.

Instead, once you learn to control how much you eat, you will be well underway to establishing the single greatest healthy eating habit. Keep in mind, this habit is not about starving yourself, but about developing a new awareness of how to feel when you eat. And with this awareness, you can start realizing other diet related goals, such as weight loss or gaining more energy.

How to Eat

In conclusion, learning how to eat is about developing healthy eating habits. This consists of learning the types of foods to eat and consuming them in the proper portion sizes. Once these habits become second nature to you, you will have truly learned how to eat.

Check out the latest news and information on diets, weigh loss products, and exercise at http://www.How-to-Burn-Fat.com. In addition to reporting on the lastest information regarding diet and weight loss research, the site is updated daily with advice and guidance on ways to burn fat quickly. Plus, learn about burning visceral fat to get a flat tummy.

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Overcome Binge Eating Today For Healthy Weight Loss

In recent times, due importance is being given to the ill effects of binge eating and the need for healthy weight loss. Binge eating is a roadblock for efficient weight reduction. The term 'binge' is usually associated with a bout of heavy drinking but now the term 'binge eating' is increasingly being used to identify an eating disorder. In binge eating, food is usually consumed in heavy quantities and later regurgitated. These bouts of heavy eating hamper the health and causes obesity. Moreover, the process seriously hampers the natural metabolic activities and causes a significant negative impact on the health and well being of the binge eater. Among many illnesses caused by binge eating, morbid obesity and type 2 diabetes are the most common. It is important to understand the negative effects of binge eating and take stern steps to curb this behavior.

The significant features of binge eating include an enormous quantity of food taken at a single time and the loss of control over eating. It is necessary to identify the triggers; the foods that you eat during a binge attack and learn about the emotions that are basis of your eating. For further help it is necessary to maintain a diary so that the details of eating behavior can be recorded and checked at a later instance. Sometimes, it is useful to avoid dieting and start mindful eating. Mindful eating refers to the behavior of eating foods with a strict interest in knowing what you eat, how you eat and the process that enables you to eat foods. The understanding of the whole process of eating can go a long way in treating the disorder of binge eating. Moreover, it can also assist you in healthy weight loss.

The next step in treating binge eating is to practice progressive relaxation. Relaxation can offer a helping hand as it allows you to understand the resting process. This understanding helps in reducing stress and enables you to eat mindfully. Moreover, relaxation helps in building the confidence that one can overcome the disorder. It has also been observed that mindful eating contributes the least to the problem of obesity. Therefore, when you concentrate in the process of eating, there are less chances of becoming obese and more chances of you incurring a healthy weight loss.

Another way to treat the problem of binge eating is to take help of hypnosis. A food diary, if maintained, can be extremely helpful to the hypnotherapist in treating your case. The knowledge of what is happening to you regarding your eating behavior can offer enormous help in shortening the binges, increase the gap between your meals and eliminating the disorder forever.

Binge eating is one of the most influential factors that leads to or worsens the condition of obesity. It is important to keep vigilance over the process of eating so that the condition can be controlled. It also increases the risk of getting other diseases indirectly. Therefore, it is important to understand the basic features of the disorder as it can impact the health negatively. In many cases, cognitive behavior therapy can also be useful in overcoming the disorder. Therefore, if you feel that you are suffering from and eating disorder, it would be wise to consult your doctor for possible help to get rid of the problem. In the process, you can also get help regarding healthy weight loss.

For Fast Weight Loss try the Simple Diet Guide

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Emotional Eating - Self Sabotage

Do you ever eat when you're not hungry? Do you ever eat without realizing that you are eating? Do you often eat alone, whether at home, in you car or elsewhere? Do you crave specific foods when you are feeling down, pasta, fries, chips, chocolate, ice cream? Does eating when you're down make you feel better or less focussed on your problems? Do you feel guilty or ashamed afterward? Do you eat because you feel like there is nothing else to do? If you answered yes to any of the above questions chances are pretty good that you have a tendency to let your emotions dictate what, and how much you eat.

Emotional eating is much like any addiction, but instead of turning to drugs or alcohol to remove you from reality, you turn to food for comfort. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, you're strongest tendencies to overeat will happen when you are at your weakest point emotionally. In effort to suppress or soothe negative feelings, emotional eaters binge when they are sad, angry, anxious, bored, confused, lonely or upset. Things like health problems, break ups, arguments, unemployment and financial uncertainties are all common triggers. Others may not be so obvious; daily life hassles, waiting in long line ups, pressuring deadlines, stressful driving conditions, bad weather, re-locating and changes in your daily routine can also affect your emotions negatively. This might not be so bad if you were binging on a vegetables, eating too many carrots or too much salad. Unfortunately, most often the foods that feed emotions are high calorie, sweet, salty and fatty foods that will sabotage any weight loss efforts.

Emotional eating is a vicious cycle of self sabotage. While you're eating, your focus is on food, distracting you from what's really bothering you. But the distraction is only temporary. When you're done over eating, your focus will return to your problems and whats worse is now you will be dealing with an added stress; the guilt of over eating. Unhealthy overeating leads not only to weight gain but to a destructive pattern of anxiety and self loathing that's tough to break on your own.

Alike any addiction, beating emotional eating can be a terribly difficult thing to do. The first step to over coming the gravitational pull towards food when your upset is understanding why you want to eat. Identify the things that make you feel pressured, sad, angry or anxious. Once you understand your triggers, you can break the cycle and start regaining control of when, why and how you eat. Acknowledge the feeling(s) that you are trying to avoid, as painful as they may be, for you will never get past what you are feeling until you "let it be". It's perfectly normal to have negative feelings, it's an un-avoidable part of life. Whether you allow yourself feel them or not will determine how the feelings will affect you. Consider a the old bandaid analogy: you can rip it off in one quick pull, and there will be pain, it will hurt for a short time but before you know it the hurt passes. The other, less desirable option is to slowly peel the bandaid back, bit by bit, taking small breaks, aggravating every millimeter of the affected area, drawing it out, making the painful experience last much longer. Emotional eating makes the experience last much longer and often times you never actually "get the bandaid off". Dealing with your feelings is step one. Face your issues. Bring them out of your subconscious and into your conscious reality. Accept that you are angry, lonely, stressed out or upset. Try to figure out why you feel the way you do and take steps towards solving the problem. If you can't do it on your own, see someone, a councillor or a therapist. It is their job to help people get through tough times, accept and deal with negative emotions, better understand themselves, the world around them and move on. If you don't deal with the root, the cause of the problem, you will never be able to move through the feelings that it brought on.

Although getting to the root of the problem and dealing with what bothers you is the biggest part of overcoming emotional eating the following tips will help:

Look elsewhere for comfort. Instead of reaching for the ice cream pale or the cookie jar, have a cup of tea, take a walk, phone a friend, watch a movie, listen to music, read or hit the gym.

Take ten minutes to pass. When you have a craving, accept it but don't act on it. Generally with emotional eating, the problem comes when people act immediately on a craving. It you give yourself some time to "think it through" it will pass. Curb cravings with flavoured herbal tea, they are healthy, tasty and will satisfy your oral fixations.

Don't bring junk food home. If it's not there, you can't eat it. If you are craving something un-healthy, you will be less likely to eat it if you have to go to the store to get it.

Make the TV room a "no food allowed" zone. So many people sit and eat mindlessly in front of the television. Avoid over eating by sitting down at the table and eating.

Always leave something on your plate. Even if it's just one bite. This reminds you that you are in control of the food, not the other way around. A little bit of empowerment can go a long way!

Eat right. If you aren't getting what you need from your diet you will be much more likely to emotional eating. Always eat breakfast following which eat a small meal every three to four hours. Your diet should consist of lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and vegetables.

Exercise and sleep. When you are working out and sleeping regularly you feel better and are able to better deal with stresses.

Make a healthy choice. If you must "fill the void" have fruit, vegetables with dip, or unbuttered air popped popcorn.

Stacy Lynn Zeman

Personal Trainer & Group Fitness Instructor

[http://www.thefitnessclubkelowna.com]

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Number One Reason For Developing an Eating Disorder

Hundreds of people have asked me why someone develops an eating disorder. Of course many issues are involved, but from my exploration of this field over the years, I have concluded that there is one outstanding theme that runs through every person with an eating disorder whom I have encountered. Early in their lives, people with eating disorders have experienced, on a sustained basis, relentless boundary invasion on every level.

When their physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, sexual, and creative boundaries are consistently ignored and penetrated, people experience total boundary invasion. With no control and no way to end, protest, or, often, even acknowledge such invasions, these persons feel helplessness, despair, and a certainty that they are worthless to themselves or anyone else.

The consequences of such total invasion are vast. One consequence is an eating disorder. Having had so many boundaries disregarded, a person has no knowledge or skills in recognizing or honoring boundaries herself. She will eat or starve for emotional relief.

She may eat vast amounts of food for comfort value alone. She may deprive herself of food until her life is in danger. She has no internal regulator that tells her when she has reached her limit and experienced enough. Being oblivious to any boundaries means being oblivious to limits of any kind.

The compulsive overeater eats whenever and whatever she likes. She bases her choices on self-medication issues, not feelings of physical hunger.

The anorexic will not eat. There is no limit to her not eating. She will starve herself to death in search of relief from her emotional pain. She knows nothing of the experience of having enough. She couldn't say, "Enough," to an invader of her boundaries, and she can't say it to herself. The concept of enough has no meaning to her. She often feels that if she "disappeared," she might find some permanent relief.

I have heard countless anorexic young women talk ethereally, with a lost-in-a-beautiful-world-of-angels smile, of how wonderful it would be to become a vapor or a light dancing spirit in the clouds. Ah, such spiritual bliss, they imagine. In reality, it's the final self-protective act, to destroy their bodies and their lives completely. Then they can truly escape the complexities of being alive.

The bulimic will binge grotesque amounts of food. She will assault herself with more food than her body can tolerate. The compulsive overeater will, at last, have to stop eating if only because of the pain in her distended stomach. Her body sets a final limit. The bulimic has no such limit. She experiences (in her mind) no consequences of the food assault on her body. When her body cannot bear more, she will vomit it all out. Then she will resume her binge. She may reach her body's limits many times. Each time she does, she can throw up again and continue.

Eventually she stops, because she is completely exhausted, or she is in danger of being discovered. "Enough" has no meaning to her. There are no limits and no consequences for her disregard of her boundaries.

Realistically, of course, there are plenty of consequences. Her behavior inflicts serious damage to her body. And each time she attacks herself with a binge-and-purge episode, she destroys more of her spirit, soul, self-esteem, sanity, health, and value to herself and others.

Each violation deepens her ritualistic behavior, and she becomes more entrenched in her disorder. The consequence is increasing anguish and despair. Yet the eating disorder is not the cause of that anguish and despair. The eating disorder exists to numb her from her already existing psychological agonies.

For a while, maybe a few years, the eating disorder successfully blocks her awareness of pain too difficult to bear. But eventually the protective device of the eating disorder becomes just another boundary invader, this time self-induced, that weakens and damages her even more.

What do I mean by a history of boundary violations? Blatant and extreme boundary violations involve sexual molestation, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. Much has been written about these areas now, especially in material exploring Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Use your search engines to find some quality information posted on the Internet in these subject areas.

However, there are other kinds of boundary violations, and these are less dramatic, less discussed, more prevalent, and just as devastating to a persons psyche. When, in the name of caretaking, people in authority take over a young person's life, it constitutes boundary invasion.

When others deny her privacy, read her diary, borrow or take her things without permission, or use their ideas or goals or personalities to overwhelm her efforts in school or sports, that is a violation of her boundaries.

When others disregard or disdain her choices or deny her any control over her personal life, clothes, food, friends, and activities, they are invading her boundaries.

An invasion of boundaries also takes place when, in the name of caretaking, people give her no responsibilities of her own and attach no consequences to her actions. When the child or adolescent can have all the things she asks for without putting forth effort to earn such gifts, she learns nothing about personal effort, limits, consequences, or the meaning of enough. If she wants something, she gets it. That's all. If someone picks up her clothes, does her laundry, fixes her car, pays her bills, lends her money or things without expecting them returned, she experiences no boundaries and no limits.

If she doesn't have to keep her promises, if she doesn't reciprocate with caring actions for people who care for her, she learns nothing useful about herself in relationship to other people. The only thing she learns with certainty is that there are no limits to her behaviors or desires.

These boundary invasions are not loving acts, nor are they "spoiling" a child through overindulgence. Quite the contrary, they are acts of neglect. The child's taste, mind, capacity to learn, and ability to grow and function as an independent agent in the world remain unacknowledged.

When others, even well-meaning others, ignore her identity as a unique, developing, and competent individual and flood her with their personal agendas, she feels as if a steamroller had flattened out her psyche. She may learn to please, to manipulate, to compete, or to control, but she is unable to learn to be fully present in the world as her genuine self.

She doesn't learn that she has meaning and value. She doesn't learn that she can put that meaning and value within her to work to accomplish goals.

For example, if she breaks something, whether it is a lamp, a car, her word, or someone's heart, it is possible and healthier to give her the responsibility for making necessary repairs using her own resources and her own creativity. In such a process, she learns what effort means. She learns what responsibility and consequences for actions mean. She learns reasonable limits and reasonable expectations. Shhe develops resources to make healthy and caring decisions in the future.

Without such lessons, she learns are the tricks involved in adapting quickly to the expectations of others or being manipulative to get what she wants. These are poor and insubstantial tools to rely on when building an adult life.

Somewhere inside, over time, she may gradually realize this. But without a sense of boundaries, she will only become bewildered and anxious. She will accelerate her practice of using her eating disorder as a way to numb her feelings of anxiety. She will use her manipulating skills to get what she wants from whomever she can exploit.

As time passes, fewer people in her life will allow themselves to be manipulated. The quality of her circle of associates will decline as she seeks people she can control with her inadequate methods of functioning in the world. She will find herself in bad company. T

This becomes all the more reason to rely on eating disorder behaviors for comfort. The people around her are less reliable all the time. And finally, they tolerate her presence only because they can manipulate her.

She arrives at the total-victim position. Her manipulative skills backfire. People exist in this world who are better at manipulating and using than she. She has found them. She becomes their target and then their prey. Her dependence upon her eating disorder becomes her most valuable and trustworthy relationship.

Early in her development, she learned through massive boundary invasions (which perhaps seemed ordinary and unimportant at the time) that she was helpless to assert herself. She learned that she had no private or sacred space to cherish and respect. She could not acknowledge, even to herself, that she was being thwarted, invaded, controlled, manipulated, and forced to deny large aspects of her natural self. She had no recourse except to comply.

To succeed at being unaware of her natural tastes, curiosities, and inclinations and her pain in restraining her natural tendencies, she developed an eating disorder. Now that she's older and her manipulation skills are failing her, she only has her eating disorder to rely on. This may be the most crucial time in this person's life.

If her pain and despair are terrible enough and she is certain she cannot bear this way of living anymore, she still has choices. She can continue to rely on the eating disorder and by so doing take the path to self-destruction. Or she can reach out and get help.

This is a tough position for her. She's never known what enough was. Yet to choose to get help, she has to recognize that she has had enough pain. She's never known what a limit is. Yet she has to recognize that she has reached her limit and must choose between death and life. She has only known about pretense and manipulation. Yet she has to be honest to reach out for genuine help.

She feels massive anguish and pain before she stretches beyond her life pattern into what might bring her healing and recovery. She's reaching for something she can't imagine. It's difficult for a person with an eating disorder to decide to get help. She would have to allow herself to trust someone with knowledge of her real personhood.

She doesn't yet know that people who do respect and honor boundaries actually exist in this world. She doesn't yet know that there are people who can and will honor and cherish her most private and sacred inner spaces. She doesn't yet know that someday the trustworthy, respectful, steadfast, and competent caretaker she needs so badly can be herself.

Her first move toward recovery requires all the courage she can muster. Her recovery begins when with fear or rage, she rallies her courage to reach out for help.

Difficult, yes. But what she doesn't know yet is that she has been courageous all her life. She makes a grand discovery when she learns that she can apply her strength and courage to her own health. She can use her gifts to, at long last, be free of her eating disorder, be her genuine self in the world.

Professional Resources for Finding Help

Academy for Eating Disorders (AED)

American Anorexia and Bulimia Association (AABA)

Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders (ANRED)

Edreferral.com

International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP)

Joanna Poppink's Eating Disorders Resource List In-Patient Treatment Programs

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)

Joanna Poppink, Los Angeles psychotherapist, licensed since 1980 (MFT #15563), is deeply committed to bringing recovery to people suffering from eating disorders.

Her specialized psychotherapy practice is designed to allow clients to progress through anxiety situations to ongoing recovery from bulimia, compulsive eating, anorexia and binge eating. Her primary goal is to provide people with a way to achieve thorough and long lasting healing.

Eating Disorder Recovery book in progress through Conari Press
10573 West Pico Blvd. #20
Los Angeles, CA 90064
http://www.eatingdisorderrecovery.com
joanna@poppink.com

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To Eat Or Not to Eat? Eating Disorders

I would like to begin by covering what a few of the physiological factors are that can cause people to eat or not eat and then move on to specific eating disorders and some of the biopsychological views on them.

First it is important to understand the concept of hunger and fullness from physiological research and what it has shown us. Let us begin with things that have been discovered to be untrue. A common belief is that our blood glucose levels affect our hunger and satiety. However, research has shown that this is untrue; glucose levels remain fairly stable and do not fluctuate often. What does glucose have to do with hunger? The belief was that when our energy levels dropped so would our blood glucose, this would then trigger our hunger; we would then eat restoring our levels back up to a certain energy level. If this were true then people would maintain a relatively stable amount of weight because we would only eat for the amount of energy we needed. Another myth is that of the hypothalamus and its role in hunger and satiety. It was believed that it controlled satiety and feeding.

Instead research has shown that the hypothalamus controls energy metabolism not eating. A very common belief is that hunger is caused by an empty stomach and satiety is caused by the feeling of a full stomach. However, it was shown that people who had their stomachs removed still experienced feelings of hunger and satiety. Research has shown instead, that the gastrointestinal tract is the source of feelings of satiety. It was also found that the stomach and gastrointestinal system released chemicals called peptides which interacted with hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain; one of the peptides responsible for increasing appetites is synthesized in the brain in the hypothalamus.

The discovery of hunger and satiety peptides has re-established interest in the hypothalamus's role as well as the role of neurons in hunger and satiety. Research has also shown that serotonin plays a role in reducing hunger, eating and weight.

That was a lot of information to digest! What it basically means is that there are several factors that affect our feelings of hunger and satiety. Messages are sent via peptides to the body from areas such as the stomach and gastrointestinal tract to tell us when we are hungry or full. So if our bodies let us know when we are full or hungry how come some of us want to eat more or very little? Let's discuss some questions about anorexia and overeating and see if we can answer this.

Overeating

Q: My parents are obese, is that why I overeat?

A: That is a very good question and often people believe that it is simply a genetic factor which makes them obese. While genetics may play a small role in the chances of being able to become obese it seems to actually be our environments that shape our eating habits. For instance if the culture we live in heavily pushes processed, fatty, and unhealthy foods that promote weight gain and it is acceptable to eat it, then we will have a higher chance of developing a weight problem. Also our families play a role in our environments, so often what we eat, the amounts we eat, and how often we eat is learned from our family environments as well. Some people consume more energy because they crave more calorie rich foods. It has also been shown that some people have a strong response to the sight or smell of food which causes them to eat more. In short it is most likely environment but it may also be linked to genes or differences in our bodies.

Q: My boyfriend and I eat together all of the time, which means that we eat the same foods and amounts, but he never gains weight like I do. Why is that?

A: One cause may be due to the difference in the amount of physical activity between the two of you. This can be from obvious sources such as going to the gym or from the amount someone sits still or not, or if one constantly fidgets and moves around. Also, our bodies are not all alike; some people tend to use excess energy more efficiently than others.

Anorexia

Q: My sister thinks that I'm anorexic because of the magazines and movies I watch and that I want to look like the girls in them. Maybe it's true, but I really just don't want to eat food. What do you think it is?

A: While there is a link between our environment and the development of eating disorders it is also possible that it could be a higher than normal insulin response which results in interest of food but feel disgusted by fatty and sweet foods. There has also been discussion in the role of positive incentives which state that the more eating declines the less there is of a positive incentive in eating it although this has not been proved.

Q: I don't eat because every time I do I feel sick! Why?

A: As I touched on previously there could be a link between the facts that once you begin to eat less you lose incentive to eat. It has been considered that the effects on someone who is eating much less may cause adverse physiological effects. For instance people who have been deprived of food often become noxious when they try to eat. As you can see there are many possible reasons as to why one may not crave food as much as they once did. It may be that you need to try eating very small amounts of food often throughout the day and see if this helps with the feeling of being sick when trying to eat.

Amy Stier
A.A. Psychology
A.A. Interior Design
Authored several technical training courses and educational programs. Membership in following Professional Organizations: Center for Communication, Center to further Education in Design, American Psychological Association (Division 5)

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10 Tips to Eat Healthier and Lose Weight Faster

Nowadays people have more concerns for healthy food. However, food choices alone cannot help you in effectively losing weight or avoiding obesity. The more important aspect in weight loss and diet that people tend to ignore is: the way you eat. These are 9 tips to eat healthier, to help your weight loss program, and your healthy digestion.

Eat in Peaceful Surrounding

Obese people tend to eat without paying much attention of the activity, while in fact, eating condition is as important as the food you eat. Find a peaceful surrounding while you are eating out. Small café is better than fast food restaurant, where people used to eat in quickly and briskly manner. When you eat, you must pay much attention to the food, to the richness of the taste, and how delicious it is. When you eat at home, do not watch TV or read newspaper while eating. Focus only on the eating!

Don't Eat When You're Stressed

Eating while you feel depressed or angry, will disturb your digestion, and you tend to eat without paying attention during those conditions. Wait until you feel more relaxed.

Sit Down While You Are Eating

You are more relaxed when you sit down. Eating while sitting down will make you more focused to the eating, and prevent you from eating quickly, like when you eat while standing. It will also help you preparing your digestion and strengthening your consciousness of the food and your hunger level.

Eat Moderately

To help you keeping your moderate eating speed, do not put any food on your spoon or fork until you are finished in chewing and swallowing existing food in your mouth.

Don't Talk Much While Chewing

While chewing and swallowing food, you should stick all your senses into the food, how it tastes, how it looks and how it smells. Light conversation is still allowed, as long as it won't make you get emotional and disturbed.

Eat Cooked Food

While raw food is becoming more famous lately, cooked food is still easier for digesting and causing less stomach problems. Eating deliciously cooked food will quickly cause a calm and satisfaction feeling, that will prevent you from another cravings. Freshly cooked food always provide the best meal.

Avoid Too Cold Food/Drink

Having too cold food and drink will reduce the burning function of your digestion. Pick healthy drinks without ice, or you can put your smoothie in refrigerator for a while just to make it more fresh.

Eat Until You Are 75% Full

Eat until you can't eat anymore? That is how obese people gained their overweight.

How do you know that your stomach has reached its 75% capacity?

This is another proof that paying attention to your eating activity is very important if you want to eat healthier. You have reach the 75% capacity, which are the maximum point of your satisfaction, when you:

· Have felt satisfied

· Do not feel any hunger

· Do not feel uncomfortable de to over eating

· Do not feel sick when seeing foods.

Stop your eating right at this point, no matter how delicious the rest of the foods seem to be, or how expensive they are to be left off.

Don't Eat Again Too Soon

After you have finished your meal, do not eat anything else until your previous food has been digested perfectly, which will take around 3-6 hours. If you want to have dessert, choose something light like small portion of fruits or a small glass of fruit juice.

Sit For A While After Eating

Now it's time to back to work, or return home from a dinner at restaurant. However, don't immediately leave after eating. Spend several more minutes on your table to give your digestion enough time to do its job well and easily.

Perfect and successful diet is when you choose your food carefully and eat healthier. Combine it with routine exercises, then you will lose your weight faster and healthier.

My name is Fanda Amnesiana, an exercise lover. I have written many articles related to exercise, weight loss, and diet at my website: http://www.myexercise-for-woman.com If you are in weight loss program or if you want to tone your muscles, you will find many fun exercises for woman that you are going to love! To succeed your weight loss, support your metabolism by consuming probiotics. Learn more about it in: http://www.1stprobiotics.com

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How to Stop Binge Eating - Simple Ways to Deal With Emotional Eating

If you are one of those who are eating because they are bored, depressed or stressed then you are binge eating engaging in emotional eating. Why is it important to stop binge eating? The number one reason why you must stop emotional eating is that it leads to weight gain overtime. A binge can last for short as hours, days or even as long as weeks and months at a time. Binge eating is not good for any one who has lost weight and trying to maintain their current weight or those who are still trying to lose weight. This article will help you know how to stop binge eating.

The first most important thing to do if you must stop binge eating is to get rid of unhealthy junks from your home. One thing you should know is that there is no way you can eat those unhealthy junks if you don't have them handy therefore fill your home with healthy and nutritious foods such as fruits and vegetables. But if you are one of those who are depressed and find solution to depression through binge eating, then eat healthy foods only in order to avoid gain more unwanted extra pounds.

Another way to stop emotional eating is keeping all foods in the kitchen and out of sight. The point is, the more you see foods, the more likely you are to feel hungry. Many people binge eat mainly because they don't pay close attention to know when they are truly hungry or not. Many people who find fun in keeping a bag of chips on their laps or close by while eating will find out that before they know it, the whole bag is gone. The simple reason is that their mind was occupied by the television program which is why it is very important to always keep all foods out of reach if you must stop emotional eating.

Another powerful way to stop emotional eating is drinking more water. It is important that you drink between 8-12 glasses of water daily. Drinking say 10 glasses of water daily will help fill you stomach and also help you deal with false hunger - which leads to binge eating. You don't have to drink 8-12 glasses at once, just spread it throughout the day. Drink more plenty of water between and after meals. One thing you should take note of is that you can not replace water with soda, water is got to be water. Drink water only and not soda.

Boredom or depression leads to binge eating. My suggestion is, whenever you find yourself idle and suddenly feel hungry ( false hunger), find something to get yourself busy and before you know it the false hunger will disappear thereby saving you from binge eating. You can walk out with a friend, play games or read - point is, get busy and the false hunger will disappear.

If you are one of those who find themselves in stressed or emotional state, then find something better and healthier than eating to deal with your pain. You may also talk to a counselor in order to identify the main problem and design a way to solve the problem. Binge eating anytime you are stressed or emotionally disturbed, then you are forming an habit that will at the end become more deadly than you can ever imagine. Don't be one of those who whenever they find themselves binge eating tell themselves, I will stop binge eating when I am no longer stressed or emotional.

People who binge are those who lack self control - do you have to be one of them? Always know that it is only you and you alone that can tell yourself to eat and it is also you and you alone that can stop yourself from binge eating. If you are seriously concerning about putting your weight under control then you must develop a serious mindset, a will power to stop binge eating.

Visit http://onlineweightlossexpert.com to discover how a former food addict overcame binge eating and lost as much as 35 pounds in no time.

http://onlineweightlossexpert.com

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Eat Stop Eat Review

Eat Stop Eat is a weight loss plan by nutritionist Brad Pilon. I was given a copy of this ebook and talked with Brad Pilon myself and I'm now ready to review this product so you can see what it includes. Can you lose weight with this plan? What is the method it is based on?

Eat Stop Eat is a 78 pages ebook which is written in a fluid and easy manner. There is not fluff in this ebook so it's an easy and fast read. You could probably get through it in about 2 hours and start applying what you learn. And what Brad Pilon teaches in Eat Stop Eat is pretty different than what most other weight loss plans I've read suggest.

Eat Stop Eat is based on two pillars:

1. Intermittent fasting to lose weight

2. Strength exercises to gain muscle tissue which in turn helps to burn more calories.

I want to deal with the first pillar as the second one is pretty well known. Brad Pilon believes (and he researched this topic academically) that one of the best ways to lose weight and control your eating habits is to use flexible fasting as part of your eating routine.

Now, this is where Eat Stop Eat differs from other diet plans. Most people associate fasting with metabolic slowdown, and this indeed happens. When we eat too little over too much time, are metabolism slows down and we find it harder to lose weight. But, what Brad Pilon discovered is that when you fast for short periods, around a day, this doesn't happen. It takes longer period of fasting for metabolic slowdown to occur. What does happen is that you immediately get a calorie deficit which is necessary to lose weight, and you also cleanse you body. Intermittent Fasting also helps to control eating habits far better as it's the very essence of self discipline.

In Eat Stop Eat you fast for a day once or twice a week (not a full fast, you can still drink low calorie beverages) and eat normally during the other days so it's not as hard to stick to it as it may seem at first glance.

Eat Stop Eat has a lot of highly positive reviews from people who lose weight with it. I first heard about it when it was recommended to me by an expert trainer which I highly respect. If you're looking for a way to lose weight which is different than what you may have tried before, check out this program. I also believe that the support Brad Pilon gives is great. I emailed him a couple of times and he responded within a day.

To read a more in depth review of this program, visit this webpage:
Eat Stop Eat Review

John Davenport lost over 30 pounds in his twenties after being overweight most of his life. To read more about fast weight loss, click here: Fasting To Lose Weight

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How Thin People Think and Eat - The Secret

Are you ready for the big secret? Are you ready to find out how thin people can eat whatever and whenever they want without gaining weight? It's going to sound deceptively simple, but don't be fooled. It's the simplest and yet the most difficult thing in the world.

What makes it difficult is that it involves some basic, fundamental shifts in how you approach food, eating, yourself, and your life. As you read, imagine yourself behind that thin person's eyes, and notice how you feel.

Thin people do four fundamental things that fat people don't.

1. They hardly ever eat unless their body is hungry.

2. They eat exactly what their body wants to eat.

3. They don't eat unconsciously; they stay conscious of what they're eating and the effect it's having on their body.

4. They stop eating when their body's hunger goes away.

It's as simple as that. I couldn't believe it at first and tried to make it more complicated. It had to be the kind of food they ate or their metabolism. But I found that some thin people eat junk food, and some eat health food. Some eat an early dinner, and some eat late at night. Some eat quickly, others eat slowly. The only things they all have in common are that they eat when their body gets hungry, they eat exactly what their body wants, they're aware of every bite they take and the effect it's having on their body, and they stop when their body's hunger goes away.

If you stop and think about it, that's how children and animals eat. It's the natural approach to eating. Let's take those four characteristics one at a time.

1.THIN PEOPLE EAT BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY. It doesn't occur to naturally thin people to combine donuts and sadness, as fat people often do. Their days don't revolve around food. Sometimes they say, "Oh, I forgot to eat today." The only time we forget to eat is when we're asleep or unconscious, but if thin people aren't hungry, they don't think about food. It isn't an issue in their lives, since they give themselves permission to eat exactly what they want. It wouldn't occur to them to eat for any of the reasons we do-they eat because their body is hungry, and that's it! They don't waste food by eating more than their body needs. Food is just food, not love, comfort, sex, companionship, etc.

2.THIN PEOPLE EAT EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT TO EAT. Thin people do a funny thing-before they sit down to a meal, they usually take the time to ask themselves what they want to eat. They don't ask themselves what they should eat; they ask themselves what they want to eat. They know that if they want French fries, a head of lettuce isn't going to satisfy them. If they want a baked potato, cottage cheese isn't going to do it. If you want rocky road ice cream, a thousand carrot sticks aren't going to satisfy you! And there's one thing naturally thin people never do-they never go on a diet.

3.THIN PEOPLE EAT CONSCIOUSLY. They stay conscious of what they're eating and the effects it's having on their body. They would never find themselves with their hand at the bottom of the box, wondering who at all the popcorn. Since they pay attention to what they're eating, they're satisfied with less and enjoy their food more. Because thin people are awake and conscious when they're eating, they know when their body has had enough. Most fat people have no idea how full they are before, while, or after they eat. Naturally thin people are ignorant about food. They don't know anything about diets, and the process of counting calories baffles them. They only know four things: when they're hungry, what they want to eat, what each bite of food they put in their mouth is doing there, and when their body has had enough.

4.THIN PEOPLE STOP EATING WHEN THEIR BODY IS NO LONGER HUNGRY. Did you ever have someone try to press more food on you, even when you told them, "I'm on a diet?" Thin people have two words that stop people dead. They say, "I'm full," and if pressed, they just keep repeating it. I've seen thin people stop eating right in the middle of an expensive meal and feel no guilt whatsoever. I've seen them wrap up and save one bite of food, or take all but two sips of a soft drink and put it back in the refrigerator. When you ask them why they don't finish it, they say, "I'm full. I'll eat it later." Doggie bags were invented for thin people. Fat people eat everything that lands on the table.

When you think about it, these are all you really need to know in order to transform yourself into a naturally thin person.

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Overcoming Emotional Eating - How to Stop Emotional Eating For Good

We all partake in emotional eating. Whether we are celebrating someone's birthday or mourning the loss of a loved one - food is rarely ever uninvolved. Comfort foods remind us of when we were young and even just the smell can make us feel safe and secure because it is a reminder of our childhood. We often crave these comfort foods most when life gets challenging or stressful.

For most of us we don't realize we are an emotional eater or we don't think it is that serious. For some of us emotional eating doesn't lead to feelings of guilt or weight gain. For some of us we can comfort eat and think its no big deal, but it really is. For others, emotional eating is out of control and something that can rule our lives on a daily basis. This can seem like overwhelming cravings or hunger, but really it is the emotions that we feel making us feel hunger, desperate and adding to our weight.

Comfort food gives us instant gratification and takes away our ability to feel. Digestion and feeling both take up a lot of energy and therefore the body cannot do both. Comfort eating allows us to not have to deal with the emotion as we overload our digestive system with toxic rubbish.

When we feel emotional, it can be normal for us to feel a big empty hole inside of us like we are hungry. Instead of facing what this means - i.e. our emotions, we stuff it down. In society it seems as though we have become scared to feel so much so we don't even realize that we are hiding from our emotions most of the time.

When we don't allow ourselves to feel, we repress it. When you learn and begin to allow yourself to feel the emotion or emotions that arise and stop stuffing down you can feel very overwhelmed. This is because your body will be releasing past pent up emotions and thus it can hit you very hard. This is why it can be hard to let go of emotional eating, because we have to get past that first initial "scare" in order to move on and start learning to appreciate emotions for what they are. Being in the present moment, allowing a feeling to wash over us is wonderful and should be appreciated. The more you allow yourself to be in the present moment and feel, the less emotions will consume you and the less scared you will be of them. The intensity of the emotion will also drop. You will become stronger mentally and physically. You will feel so much better once it's off your chest, instead of suppressing it with food.

Of course getting to this point isn't necessarily simple. Some people can break their emotional eating by nourishing their body properly to get rid of physical cravings and getting support from others when they feel stress or emotional. Essentially replacing the comfort with a person instead of using food.

If you want to break emotional eating, you need to become aware of how and why you eat. Take a day out to observe yourself and what triggers you to eat. Are you eating out of true hunger? Most people don't even have an understanding of true hunger!

If you find yourself eating for emotional reasons, can you stop yourself? Instead of eating can you sit and allow the emotion to wash over you - give yourself time to feel it and move pass it? Or can you turn to someone to talk about how you are feeling?

Don't be hard on yourself. Emotional eating is probably something you have done from a very early age and so is a part of your make up. It is a learnt habit and it is how you have learnt to cope with the world. To undo something so ingrained in you will take time, so if you find yourself eating out of emotion - if you slip up - learn from it, don't feel bad about it just move on. The first step is recognition. Once you know that you are eating out of comfort, you are able to overcome it.

Journaling can also help you pinpoint patterns in your eating. Write down how you feel before, during and after a meal. What triggered your eating - was it genuine hunger?

If you start doing this, you should, within time, be able to overcome your emotional eating and be able to feel and look after yourself properly. If you find it too hard or daunting to battle emotional eating yourself, you could try seeing a counsellor or there is a great program online that can help.

Kelly Aziz is an expert in the field of nutrition and addiction psychology. She is the author of the acclaimed "Free to Eat" Combat Your Cravings Ebook & Natural Weight Loss Program that helps you eat well and combat cravings for good. For more information please visit: Cravings

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Weight Loss - Do You Eat Enough?

The headlines make it clear that Americans eat too much. Yet in my practice, I often find that people don't eat enough - at the right times. Sometime it's just habit and sometimes it's an attempt to lose weight: skipping meals or eating small meals seems like an obvious way to cut calories. It sounds logical but it doesn't work. In an ironic twist, eating too little can ultimately lead to eating too much.

Larry came to see me because of high blood sugar. I found out that he skipped breakfast, was inconsistent with lunch, and ate a big dinner. He wasn't hungry in the morning, so he saw no reason to eat. He had lunch when his schedule allowed, but often it just didn't fit in and he wasn't very hungry anyway. He'd finally get hungry in the late afternoon, and then he would eat. He figured he was saving calories all day, so he could afford big portions at dinner and snacks in the evening.

Larry has several things going on here. He doesn't feel hungry until he's ravenous. His one-large-meal-a-day habit lowers his metabolic rate, and it places big demands on his body to metabolize it all at once. Then he ends up overeating. All of these affect both his weight and his blood sugar.

It is wise to eat breakfast whether you are hungry or not. Breaking the fast keeps up our metabolism; we are hardwired to conserve calories and fat if there is a risk of starvation. Missing an occasional meal probably doesn't make much difference, but missing meals regularly can slow down the rate at which you burn energy.

Eating your day's worth of calories all at once swamps body systems. When we space out calories in three meals, it makes it easier to produce the hormones and enzymes that are part of the digestive process. Large meals require extra insulin -which over time can wear out the pancreas, reduce the effectiveness of insulin and cause insulin resistance. No wonder Larry's blood sugars were rising. His body was no longer able to produce enough insulin to keep up with his eating pattern and food choices.

Another problem with meal-skipping is the tendency to overeat later. I initially noticed this effect in my own home. When my husband Bill worked late and ate dinner at 9:00 pm, he ate twice as much as when he ate at 6:00. To his credit, he stopped overeating once I pointed it out to him - which is surprising since it is hard to stop eating once we reach that intensity of hunger. At that point our biology takes over and our cells are screaming "eat"! When it happens to me, I can watch myself eat too much, knowing what I am doing, and still do it anyway.

While Larry also needed to make some adjustments in the types of food he was choosing, just developing a three-meal-a-day habit made a big difference. This practical way of eating supports body functions. Spreading out calories throughout the day allowed Larry to eat less overall and to manage his blood sugar better.

Betty provides another example of not eating enough. Betty ate three meals every day, made healthy food choices, and yet she still overate late in the day. Her most challenging food time was the period right before dinner; once she started eating she couldn't stop. She described herself as starting off well each morning with good intentions, and then falling apart by the end of the day.

While there can be other reasons, most often this pattern is triggered by hunger. My guess was that Betty didn't eat enough at breakfast or lunch, so that by dinner time she was starving. By the time she realized she was hungry it was already taking over her good intentions.

It turned out that Betty's breakfast worked well for her - she was satisfied until lunch. Lunch was the problem. The salads or low calorie frozen entrée that she ate satisfied her at the time, but by dinner she was out of fuel. They just didn't have enough calories to last. Once she was over-hungry, it was hard to make wise food choices and to stop eating when she was full; biology takes over will power.

Because Betty was so hungry, she snacked while she fixed dinner. By time dinner was ready she was no longer hungry, but she ate it anyway. Then, feeling angry with herself for eating so much, she'd keep on snacking through the evening. Once she started it felt like there was no stopping.

We were able to shift Betty's eating pattern by adding food to her lunch that kept her full for longer and a planned snack earlier in the afternoon. Now Betty is only mildly hungry while she prepares dinner. Because she isn't eating right before dinner, she enjoys her meal more and finds it easier to keep her portion sizes reasonable. She rarely is hungry in the evening, but we came up with a planned snack for the occasional times when she is.

Before the healthy habits remake, Betty thought the problem was that she craved carbohydrates. She was amazed that just by eating enough at lunch, most of her cravings went away. Eating enough at the right time allowed her to eat less overall.

Do you get enough to eat - at the right times? It seems counter-intuitive, but eating enough at your meals can prevent overeating later in the day or excessive snacking. Experiment to find the right size for your meals: not too big, but not too small either. You'll be surprised at the difference it can make.

Kathy Nichols is the Healthy Habits Coach. As a registered dietitian and certified life coach, Kathy helps people who are tired of diets and feeling guilty find a way of eating that is sustainable, healthy and enjoyable.

website: http://healthyhabitscoach.com
blog: http://healthyhabitscoach.wordpress.com

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Sexual Abuse-Trauma and Eating Disorders - Examining the Relationship

Deborah was fourteen years old when she entered a residential treatment facility for bulimia with anorexic symptoms, along with drug dependency. During her initial phase of treatment, she remembered a traumatic memory that had been repressed for years. When Deborah was on a family vacation with her family at age 11 years, she was sexually assaulted by a group of unknown predators. As she had repressed this memory, she had told no one about the event, and had received no social support or an outlet to express and heal her pain resulting from the trauma.

After four years in the residential facility, Deborah came to us for treatment still plagued with body shame, self-blame and bulimic symptoms. She blamed herself for the sexual trauma, feeling she was responsible as she was without adult supervision at the time, and perceiving she had led the abusers on by being too nice. The self blame was not surprising considering her early mistaken decisions or interpretations about herself . From an early age Deborah believed that everything was always "her fault." By the age of eighteen she had completely dissociated from her body, denying her femininity and unwilling to embrace her womanly sexuality. She had severe issues in her interpersonal relationships and achieving intimacy, particularly in romantic relationships, and was unable to feel deserving or derive pleasure from these interactions. In treatment, we first helped Deborah to reframe her negative self image and alter distorted perceptions surrounding the traumatic event, helping her to counteract shameful thoughts about her body and to cease self-blame. Her binging behaviour was a way to metaphorically 'fill herself up' emotionally and subsequently push out and occlude some of her feelings of disgust and self-loathing. To counteract this behaviour, therapy included generating positive self affirmations to combat her negative feelings towards herself and her body.

To deal with the emotional aspects of the trauma and eating disorder, we also engaged in a variety of experiential and body-oriented techniques with Deborah. The therapeutic technique of psychodrama was utilized to give her a sense of power over her abuser and the abusive scenario. Through yoga and movement exercises, she learned to better connect with her body and learn that it was okay to move and "feel" her body. Finally, after a few years, therapeutic touch was used to show Deborah that she could accept and be touched lovingly in a non-abusive way, and that being touched was not something to be feared.

At the end of our work together, Deborah was able to be rid of her bulimic symptoms and reported feeling a greater sense of love and acceptance towards her body. By working through issues surrounding her traumatic sexual experience, Deborah was able to better understand and ameliorate much of her eating disordered behaviour and to learn how to deal with her emotions in a healthier way. This case study is only one example of the impact of sexual assault or trauma that resulted in an eating disorder.

The presence of sexual abuse among women is of an epidemic proportion, with prevalence estimates of lifetime sexual abuse varying between 15 and 25% among the general female population (Lesserman, 2005). Sexual abuse and trauma can occur across the lifespan, and despite variable definitions, is typically defined as unwanted sexual contact, ranging from exposure and fondling to rape (Bagley, 1990). Certain circumstances relating to sexual trauma have been associated with heightened eating disorder symptoms in particular, including if the sexual trauma involved parents or if it occurred more than once, (Murray and Waller, 2002). The consequences of sexual abuse may not be immediate, for when the abuse ends, the emotional trauma may remain. The effects of such abuse can be seen rather overtly in one's social relationships, as abused individuals are likely to express discomfort and fears relating to love and sexual intimacy with others. Other consequences of abuse or trauma may remain more covert and hidden, but be equally unhealthy and destructive.

This includes the development of an ingrained disgust and hate for the body, as well as an overwhelming sense that events in one's life are uncontrollable. Essentially, past occurrences of sexual abuse or trauma may affect how one experiences living in their body, and ultimately existing and interacting in the world. It appears that a previous history of sexual abuse or trauma is a risk factor for a wide range of physical illnesses and psychopathology, including depression and obsessive-compulsive symptoms, as well as low self-esteem (Carter, Bewell, Blackmore, & Woodside, 2006). Importantly, both researchers and clinicians on the whole agree that trauma resulting from a history of sexual abuse can play a role in body image disturbance and eating disordered symptoms

Sexual trauma in relation to eating disorders

Prevalence estimates of sexual abuse among individuals experiencing eating disorders is variable, and reported more in females, seeming to fall around approximately 30% (Connors and Morse, 1993; Woodside, Garfinkel et al., 2001). This estimate is likely disturbingly underestimated due to the personal nature of sexual trauma and the associated secrecy, guilt, and embarrassment that often accompanies such. Research has found that patients presenting with an eating disorder and a past history of sexual abuse and trauma are more likely to report engaging in self-destructive behaviour and impulsivity (Wonderlich, et al., 2001. However, for some individuals, the experience of sexual abuse may be consciously inaccessible, that is, it may not be expressible or available to one's memory, highlighting the importance of a therapeutic relationship that can bring forth and address these memories in a safe environment.

Another contributing factor that could account for the abuse-eating disorder link is the perception that one lacks control. According to Peterson and Seligman (1983), humans have a need to perceive control over their lives, specifically in relation to aversive events, and feel distressed otherwise. Due to the coercive nature in most cases of sexual abuse, survivors of sexual trauma may experience feelings of powerlessness and feel little control over their own bodies. As the desire for self-control is evident in many individuals with eating disorders, when coupled with a history of sexual trauma, an increased need to gain control over the body can result. By restricting one's food intake, the abused individual may feel that their body is, at least for a limited time, under their own control.

Body dissatisfaction and lack of acceptance of one's own sexuality and femininity is prevalent in women with eating disorders and a history of sexual trauma or abuse. Some may believe that their bodies were too attractive and seductive/provocative to their abuser and thus blame their bodies for bringing on the traumatic experience, associating feminine sexuality with negative consequences. Starving the body may become a way to express one's anger towards the experience itself, and or punish the body. The low levels of sexual desire and lack of menses that are symptoms of anorexia may appear to the client as a way to regress to a child-like state in which they don't have to deal with issues of sexuality and femininity that cause them emotional and psychological distress. Essentially, eating disorders and the destruction of the body may be a way to deny sexuality and avoid the painful feelings and memories connecting to abusive and traumatic violation.

The strongest association between sexual abuse and eating disorders has been found amongst individuals with bulimia. When combined with other psychiatric comorbidity, particularly substance abuse, bulimia has been linked with higher frequency and more severe history of sexual abuse (Deep, Lilenfeld, Plotnicov, Pollice, & Kaye, 1999).

Why bulimia? Purging behaviours may serve as a way to 'purify' or cleanse the self, and serve as a metaphor for expelling uncomfortable or "dirty" feelings and experiences from the body. For example, an individual may feel that vomiting is the only way to rid herself of the feelings and memories of the unwanted sexual encounter she experienced and to feel relief.

Healing Sexual Abuse and Eating Disorders in Therapy

What are some key elements that should be involved in therapy to treat this specific population? Like any therapeutic relationship, supportive empathy, and the development of a trusting, safe and nurturing therapist-client dyad is of the utmost importance. Previous traumatic experience may have left the client with a lack of trust in others and the perception of the world as a threatening place. For survivors of sexual abuse who have issues surrounding intimacy, boundaries within the therapeutic relationship must be clearly set in order to ensure that the client is not intimidated or confused and feels they are in a safe place to explore and heal their emotions and suffering.

In therapy, it is important to acknowledge the purpose or goals behind eating disordered behaviours and to eventually help the client to understand that that those behaviours were a necessary survival mechanism until they were able to live in a more positive and emotionally healthy way. Eventually it is helpful for the client to recognize that their eating disorder was an actual gift for growth and learning in all aspects of life. The therapist should supportively explore the reason for a client's bingeing behaviours that likely emanate from an attempt to cope with one's feelings relating to abuse or to cleanse the body of feelings of disgust. Also, since issues of control are a central theme in this population, a focus on perceived control should explored in therapy, for example, by letting clients actively make choices about their therapy and giving them the opportunity to choose to stop if the discussion becomes too uncomfortable. Finally, as encouragement is the antithesis of discouragement, the therapist can help the client accept that they are not to blame and can not change the past, and instead can actively choose to move forward and work to recover from their trauma, regaining a sense of personal power, femininity, and learning to nurture and love their body again.

Other specific techniques to explore with abused-eating disordered clients including body- oriented exercises that enhance awareness, control, and ownership of one's own body are suggested. Verbal therapies may be less effective for some survivors of sexual abuse or trauma, particularly if the trauma occurred early in development, as it likely that the memories were encoded non-verbally. For these clients, Psychodrama, Art, Movement, Yoga and other body oriented therapies may be more effective, as they can help the individual to learn to connect and love their body again, and to re-awaken their sexuality. Relaxation training may also be used to develop awareness of the many interconnected, lovable and worthy aspects of one's own body and to help attain feelings of inner peace. Similarly, guided imagery can be used during therapy to help clients reacquaint themselves with a safe place that provides them feelings of safety and comfort, Anger and fear release techniques in particular, such as using a tackle dummy in a safe place of healing, can also augment a sense of empowerment, instead of the feeling that one is a victim. Which strategy to use in conjunction with the above mentioned therapeutic goals will depend on the specific experiences of the individual, the stage of their recovery process, and their openness to change and their current perception of safety.

References

Bagley, C. (1990). Development of a measure of unwanted sexual contact in childhood for use in community mental health surveys. Psychological Reports, 66, 401-402.

Carter, J.C., Bewell, C., Blackmore, E., & Woodside, D.B. (2006). The impact of childhood sexual abuse in anorexia nervosa. Child Abuse and Neglect, 30, 257-269.

Connors, M.E., & Morse, W. Sexual abuse and eating disorders: A review. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 13, 1-11.

Deep, A.L., Lilenfeld, L.R., Plotnicov K.H, Pollice, C, & Kaye, W.H. (1999). Sexual abuse in eating disorder subtypes and control women: The role of comorbid substance dependence in bulimia nervosa. The International Journal of Eating Disorders, 25, 1-10.

Lesserman, J. (2005). Sexual abuse history: Prevalence, health effects, mediators, and psychological treatment. Psychosomatic Medicine, 67, 906-915.

Murray, C. & Waller, G. (2002). Reported sexual abuse and bulimic psychopathology among nonclinical women: The mediating role of shame. International Journal of Eating Disorers, 32, 186-191.

Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E. (1983). Learned helplessness and victimization. Journal of Social Issues, 39, 103-116.

Wonderlich, S.A., Crosby, R.D., Mitchell, J.E., Thomspon, K.M, Redlin, J., Demuth, G., Smyth, J., & Haseltine, B. (2001). Eating disturbance and sexual trauma in childhood and adulthood. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 30, 401-412.

Woodside, B.D, Garfinkel, P.E., Lin, E., Goering, P., Kaplan, A.S., Goldbloom, D.S., & Kennedy, S.H. (2001). Comparisons of men with full or partial eating disorders, men without eating disorders, and women with eating disorders in the community. American Journal of Psychiatry, 158, 570-574.

Orit is a psychotherpist with over 22 years of counseling experience currently focusing on recovery from eating disorders. Orit has completed an M.A. degree in Counselling Psychology at the Adler School of Professional Psychology. She is a member in good standing with the Academy of Eating Disorders (AED) and the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology (NASAP) as well as a Certified Clinical Member of the Ontario Association of Consultants, Counsellors, Psychometrists and Psychotherapists. (OACCPP). She was a student of psychodrama as well as other body-oriented therapies.

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How to Eat to Live - Lose 10 Pounds Fast

Tired of feeling sluggish and fat? Would you like to know the secret to glowing, youthful skin and a trim body?  For most dieters who don't know how to eat to live, weight loss, health and looking young again seem to be out of reach.  But I'll show you how to eat healthfully in order to lose 10 pounds fast and have radiant skin.  Here are the top 3 traps dieters fall into and how you can avoid them.

How to Eat to Live Diet Trap No.1: Skipping Meals. Why is this a trap? People try to lose weight by skipping meals. They think the less they eat, the quicker they lose weight. But the opposite happens. Skipping meals slows down their metabolism.

The body thinks it is in starvation mode and holds on to the fat instead of releasing it. If you are afraid of getting fat or of not losing weight, there are certain foods you can eat that will allow you to eat enough of it so that you are full and without you gaining weight. Try this: 

 If you like pizza and you are on a diet, then eat 1 slice of pizza but then also have 2 cups of salad and a little bit of low fat or fat free dressing. This way, you get the best of both worlds. The salad will fill you up and you get to eat your favorite food.

How to Eat To Live Diet Trap No.2: Eating One Big Meal For the Day. Why is this a trap? You are starving throughout the day and so when you eat that one meal, you tend to devour everything because you are famished! Also, eating a huge meal at lunch time can make you sleepy.

Eating a huge meal at dinner will make it hard for you to go to sleep because your body has to work to digest the food. Eat 5-6 mini meals a day instead. By doing this, you will rev up your metabolism and if you pick the right foods, you will lose weight. Follow sound dietary guidelines. Stop skipping meals.

How To Eat to Live Diet Trap No.3: Only Drinking Diet Shakes. Why is this a trap? The trap is that using a liquid diet to lose weight not only leaves you hungry, but the minute you eat something solid, the weight comes back on.  Besides, the only weight you end up losing is water weight and muscle. Get rid of the diet shakes. Start eating protein, fruit and vegetables. For instance, at breakfast, eat some low fat cheese and a piece of fruit. 

Eating lots of fruit and vegetables helps fight against free radicals, the source of wrinkling skin.  Eat 5-9 servings of fruit and vegetables daily.  You'll need to drink plenty of water throughout the day, as consumption of large amounts of fiber can cause intestinal discomfort.  But once you drink at least 8-12 glasses of water a day, your bowel movement will be regular, and you will have clear, glowing skin!

Eating protein and complex carbohydrate together is proven to help you lose weight quickly. I lost 90 pounds in 6 months because I learned how to eat to live, [http://www.howtoloseweighteasysite.info/] and so can you! I'm giving you the opportunity to lose 10 pounds fast! There's still time to lose weight before summer or before that upcoming event (like your wedding maybe?)

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The Obese Can't Eat Normal Food Without a Sense of Panic Or Guilt

At 256 lbs, I saw my naturopath for the first time. We had a long discussion about food, my weight, my depression, and how I wanted to tackle all of it. The following year after I had lost 136 pounds and visited her again for final blood work, she told me that on the first day we met she made a note in my file. It said: "Patient views food as poison."

She had hit it right on. I did. And I am not alone. I may have been on the extreme end of the thought process, but the fear of food was real. In my entire life, I had never eaten one ounce of food without guilt. Even as a child, if I wanted a second apple I felt as though I was proving to all that saw what a pig I really was.

That is why a simple low fat raw food diet worked for me. It was minimal and I could enjoy as much as I wanted without a drop of guilt. I thought I could bring that to the obese community as a miraculous cure for obesity. I was wrong.

For each person I helped achieve great weight loss, there were another twenty who came and went. People would sign up, do the all raw diet for their first month or two and have huge weight loss, but then the reality of being on a restrictive diet would hit and they would flee forgetting all about their achievements. Their major complaint: "I just want to eat like a normal person."

What did they flee to? Not another healthy sound diet. They returned to the diet/binge cycle - the only method they knew for day to day eating.

For those of us who have grown up with obesity or entered the dieting world early, we have no idea what "normal" eating is. All we know is how to diet or not diet, and the not diet has nothing to do with eating right. We have proven to ourselves over and over again, that we have no control over the food we eat except when on a structured diet, and then it is only until we can't do it anymore.

I have developed a complete new system for my clients who cannot do the all raw program. It is ten times scarier for them than asking them to live on raw fruits and vegetables. Why? Because I make them eat.

One of the first things that becomes very clear and they actually all voice is, "I don't know how to eat like a regular person." When I tell them I want them to eat 1800 calories their first two weeks to find out what their true maintenance diet will look like, their eyes pop, their voices quake, and they stammer: "1800 calories, I can't do that I will gain weight." It takes me a while to convince them otherwise.

The first week is always full of panic. Their menus are peppered with all sorts of ideas on eating they have picked up from dieting their whole lives. A lot of it is food they don't even like and would never eat outside a diet. When I tell them to eat more, to try something new they balk. "No, no, I can't do it. I will lose control." In truth, that is exactly what I want them to do.

It is only after examining what out of control is, that we can work together to bring things back to the middle and find a satisfying solution that will allow them to take control of their eating.

We are all different. Each of us has different likes and dislikes, our bodies respond to different types of food. Some people can tolerate higher fat, some people can't. Some people can have salt in their diet without it affecting them, others like me, have to be cautious. Some people need fewer, larger meals to feel sated, others need to graze through the day. Understanding who you are as an eater becomes paramount in defining a diet that will bring weight loss and then let you adjust it for life-time maintenance.

Accepting that there is no one cookie-cutter diet out there that will work for everyone, is vital in developing an eating plan. Throwing out all preconceived ideas of what a diet is, is the only way to move out of the diet/binge cycle.

That fear of eating that has been hammered into us all these years has to be tackled. The only way to do that is to eat. Sounds simple enough, but in my experience I have found it is harder to get people to eat then it is to get them to diet.

Why? Because all we know is deprivation or guilt.

When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal.

I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss.

I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.

It is a process, a hand holding to calm their nerves and gain their trust that it is okay to eat food as long as they understand that each choice they make needs to be seen as a whole, and it needs to work with them as a person. Once they see that they really can eat 1800 calories a day without gaining weight they are amazed. Amazed that they are now eating foods they saw as detrimental to their dieting cause, and eating those foods in amounts they find satisfying.

No, not every food they love can be eaten, but by examining what foods keep them stated, and what foods cause them to want more, their menu of choices grows and the idea that this type of diet can be done not just for short term loss, but for life becomes empowering.

It is this fear of food, this fear of not being able to stick to a diet, this fear that food controls us and not the other way around that keeps the obese obese.

Food is nutrition. Our bodies need it, even our brain needs it to stay balanced and keep us in a good place. What the obese have to come to terms with is that they are a unique individual, and although their obesity issues are common within the obese community, their needs to feel satisfied are quite different.

Food is neither enemy nor lover. It needs to become a partner in the obese person's quest for health and well-being.

If you want to beat your obesity, then you must be willing to work through your fear of eating outside of a diet. You must be able to look at food realistically and take time to explore what is right for you before embarking on your next diet.

Carlene Jones is an Obesity Weight Loss Coach offering fast weight loss and slower life-time solutions for obesity since 2005. In 2008, her clients lost over 2,000 lbs. She is author of Fat Brain Lies, a workbook to help the obese accept their body's metabolism and help them discover what they must do to find permanent health and well-being. There are plenty of before and after photos on her websites, including her own. In 2005, she lost 136 lbs in 9 month. Her daily journal from that time is accessible from her site.

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